Status quo

I had a doctor's appointment today, and am holding steady at 4-5 centimeters dilated and am now up to 80-90% effaced. The doctor said she once had a patient who stuck at around 6 cm for awhile.

She was leaning toward breaking my bag of waters next Wednesday. But, she said I could need some pitocin to get the contractions really going. I am aiming for a natural birth and from my last experience with pitocin, that would make it very difficult. I am sure I could get through it if I had to, but knowing that epidural is just a call away makes that less likely. So, I entertained the thought for awhile, but now I am thinking again I will just let nature take its course.

There certainly would be advantages to just scheduling the procedure next Wednesday morning. No more wondering. We could drop off Q and the dog, call the photographer, and head in to the hospital. But, something about it just doesn't feel right. I am not overdue, I am healthy, I am doing fine. Should we really just decide his birth date based on my doctor's on-call schedule? I certainly might change my mind if I start going far past my due date, but for now, I think having a little patience will be good for me.

Now I sort of wish I never knew my dilation. Then I would be going blissfully along now, not thinking I am just millimeters away from active labor. Dilation really doesn't mean anything. Some people go into labor without being dilated at all. Other weirdoes like me spend a month dilated. It is frustrating to know and speculate. Maybe we should all just let things happen as they are supposed to and not meddle so much.

I keep reminding myself it will happen sooner or later. It's not like it will or won't come. I just have to wait, because eventually my giant belly will be gone and a little baby will be here.

--MM