Final frenzy

I am feeling that final pressure to get things done before the baby comes. I have a mid-term the week of her due date (excellent timing). I want the house to be in order and the nursery all set up. I have a list of tasks at work that I need to complete. This is such an odd feeling of limbo. Now that I am at 37 weeks, it could be any day, anywhere. You really have no control. I suppose that is why some women schedule their births, but I have no desire for a C-section or pitocin, so I am not going that route unless absolutely necessary.

I am loving our house. It is nothing extravagant by any means, but it is just so nice to have a basement to put the cat litter in and a pantry and a yard and no one sharing your wall listening to your children screaming like banshees and tall trees in the yard and an office and a playroom. Ahhhhh. I just love it.

I had some moments of utter tiredness this week. We had a conference going on at work, and I feel asleep in almost every session. I nodded off at my desk and woke up with the motion-sensor lights all off. Oops. The boys have been constantly waking up at night, and I feel like I am not getting any REM sleep. Today I was just spent, and opted to go in to work an hour late so I could have some peaceful rest. It was nice, and I only fell asleep at my desk for one brief period. It's an improvement at least.

--MM

Home again

I enjoyed a 13-minute, virtually traffic-free drive to work today. It is a beautiful thing. We closed on our house last Friday afternoon, and I slept there last night. T went back to the townhouse and slept on the pull-out couch. There is still a lot of moving to be done.

Of course I am now nine months pregnant with a giant watermelon belly. Not the best physique for heavy lifting. T and I used to be able to do it all ourselves, even hauling the treadmill and washing machine. Not this time. My parents came to help yesterday for a few hours, and T is hiring a guy for a couple hours today.

I am so happy to be in the new house. The situation is far from ideal. It is a very nice house, but we could have much nicer if we didn't still have another house on the other side of the country! Two mortgages stress me out immensely. The master bath is small (and so is my closet), but so much about it is great. Three bedrooms, a finished basement with a play room/den and office. A nice-sized yard. A great neighborhood. Close to my work. Did I mention I am glad to have a short drive? A few hour-long commutes last week almost put me over the edge.

It was a ridiculously exhausting weekend. T was battling a cold. The boys were running around like banshees, trying to "help." My hips and joints ached, as I attempted to lift things that were far too heavy. I squeezed in some homework at various times. But we got a lot done. And T will accomplish even more today.

It was so great to see the boys running around in their new yard and quickly making a mess of their play room. Ruby is going to love her piece of the outdoors. T and I will again be proud of where we live.

It's good to be home.

--MM

Late in the Game

I just passed 34 weeks pregnant this past weekend. That's when I gave birth to Q. It's pretty surreal to think about that now. Amniotic fluid started leaking, my ob-gyn induced labor, and a few hours later, Q arrived. It was pretty shocking at the time.

It's comforting now to know that if this baby comes at any time from here on out, things should be fine. Less than ideal of course. I have no desire to have another baby in the NICU for two weeks. The clock is winding down now. Just a few more weeks, and I will be caring for a newborn again.

For some reason, it is harder to wrap my mind around this time than even the first time. When I was pregnant with Q, that consumed all my attention. Pending motherhood was my entire focus. Now, I have so much to think about, it honestly slips my mind. I tried to flop on to my belly to watch TV yesterday, forgetting momentarily about the giant watermelon on my my stomach. It wasn't comfortable.

I read over my birth story with R and looked at some labor descriptions this weekend. A fear of the pain and the lack of control returned. It is scary to know it could start at any moment. Will I be in the car? Will I be at work? The hospital is a longer drive this time than it was in Oregon. My last labor progressed so quickly, and I assume this one will go even faster. I have this fear of giving birth in the car.

All that said, childbirth is unpredictable. I wouldn't be surprised if my labor took forever, and I ended up with a C-section or something. We shall see what comes.

I am starting to get uncomfortable. Shaving my legs and tying my shoes are daily challenges. It's hard to carry R with his legs wrapped around my middle. I quickly feel tired when I am standing for a long time or when I have to climb several flights of stairs. My patience is short these days, and I feel like I could always use a nap.

But so goes the third trimester, and it's all worth it in the end.

--MM