Late in the Game

I just passed 34 weeks pregnant this past weekend. That's when I gave birth to Q. It's pretty surreal to think about that now. Amniotic fluid started leaking, my ob-gyn induced labor, and a few hours later, Q arrived. It was pretty shocking at the time.

It's comforting now to know that if this baby comes at any time from here on out, things should be fine. Less than ideal of course. I have no desire to have another baby in the NICU for two weeks. The clock is winding down now. Just a few more weeks, and I will be caring for a newborn again.

For some reason, it is harder to wrap my mind around this time than even the first time. When I was pregnant with Q, that consumed all my attention. Pending motherhood was my entire focus. Now, I have so much to think about, it honestly slips my mind. I tried to flop on to my belly to watch TV yesterday, forgetting momentarily about the giant watermelon on my my stomach. It wasn't comfortable.

I read over my birth story with R and looked at some labor descriptions this weekend. A fear of the pain and the lack of control returned. It is scary to know it could start at any moment. Will I be in the car? Will I be at work? The hospital is a longer drive this time than it was in Oregon. My last labor progressed so quickly, and I assume this one will go even faster. I have this fear of giving birth in the car.

All that said, childbirth is unpredictable. I wouldn't be surprised if my labor took forever, and I ended up with a C-section or something. We shall see what comes.

I am starting to get uncomfortable. Shaving my legs and tying my shoes are daily challenges. It's hard to carry R with his legs wrapped around my middle. I quickly feel tired when I am standing for a long time or when I have to climb several flights of stairs. My patience is short these days, and I feel like I could always use a nap.

But so goes the third trimester, and it's all worth it in the end.

--MM