T was in class all day, so I was alone with both of them. This is when it would be nice to have some people who live closer to lend a hand.R got up at 4 last night and then both woke up around 8. It took an hour to get both changed and R fed. Poor Q was just playing and waiting patiently for his breakfast.
It seemed like by the time Q and I ate, both were ready to be changed and R ready to eat again. Craziness.
We did go to the park for about an hour and then Q went down for a nap. I think I figured it out pretty well for my first day on my own, but it is overwhelming when your body is still hurting as well.
When T was at school today he ran into a nurse who told him the lactation consultant said my nipples were some the worst she had ever seen. At least I know I am not overreacting! I am utterly determined to make this work and will not switch to formula, but I did have tears come to my eyes a few times today. Not just from the pain, though it is agonizing, but also from the sheer frustration and disappointment. Why can't it just be easier? It seems like it will be so hard for them to heal when he is nursing every three hours. The lactation consultant did recommend some gel pads that I am wearing in between feedings, and those seem to be helping.
My stitches are also irritating me. They are drying out and make it uncomfortable to sit or walk. I am basically constantly uncomfortable right now.
I hate to sound ungrateful or not to realize how lucky I am, but it is hard to not be frustrated. It does make me feel better to look at R's tiny feet or his little furrowed brow and to know he depends on me. I am anxious to see just what he will look like and to find out if he prefers dinosaurs or trains. He is so innocent and pure and full of possibility. He is his own little person, and T and I created him.
That makes the suffering worth it.
--MM
I don't know how you do it! Managing more than one kid when one of them is brand new... whew!
ReplyDeleteI remember the initial pain from nursing. It was like little razor blades... ugh. I don't know if I could have gotten through that stage without the percocet I was already taking. I think it lasted for about a week for me, then it was just fine. Mostly. Until teeth and thrush hit at about the same time. But even that was manageable. Do you have Lansinoh ointment?
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI do have Lansinoh, but am far beyond that. They are just utterly raw and bleeding and oozing. It really is gross. I have special gel pads now as well and am using a nipple shield as well. I just need to somehow manage to let them heal and then I think I will be OK. It is just a slow process!
--MM