Different lives

I visited a home for pregnant and parenting teen mothers tonight. I offered to talk to them as a working, pregnant mother to perhaps give them some advice or serve as a role model. It was an interesting experience.

These girls are fairly successful as far as being teen mothers goes. They are raising their children in a healthy environment and going to school. Many other teen mothers don't do as well. But, they also seemed so different from how I was in high school. One didn't realize that it cost money to go to college. Another wanted to be a psychologist like the people on "SVU." As I was talking to them they seemed like such children even as they bounced their own children on their knee.

They asked me about my job, and I told them honestly it's not a job I recommend to most people. My salary started so painfully low that I had to lean on my parents to help me move and to buy furniture for my tiny apartment. I am doing well now, but I would have been screwed if I was supporting a baby and had no parental backing! These girls start with the deck stacked against them.

One asked if I had a lot of debt from college. I answered sort of sheepishly that my parents had paid for me to go, but that these girls had many options for grants, scholarships and loans. One girl told the other one that they could apply for a grant as a teen mom and also because both had lived in foster care. What different lives! I can't even imagine. I am sort of embarassed of all the advantages I have had. I am glad I didn't completely squander my opportunities though.

I don't know if they got much out of the little meeting tonight. They were busy talking about what to get their boyfriends for Valentine's Day, checking text messages, and showing off a new pair of stilettos. I did tell them that they impress me very much and that seemed to mean a lot.

--MM