I have been feeling guilty lately. About every little thing. I am a pretty guilty person by nature, but lately I have just felt swamped in it.
I feel guilty about being at work instead of being with my babies. I feel guilty that I am not focused enough on work now that my family is larger. I feel guilty if I eat too much ice cream or skip my run. I feel guilty if I am late for an appointment. I feel guilty if I depend on my co-worker, so I end up just doing extra work. I feel guilty that I am not making T a priority.
I am driving myself crazy. I know all this guilt is misplaced, but I can't shake it. I tell T how I feel, and he doesn't feel the same. Even after a business trip or an especially long day, he doesn't waste a moment on guilt. I don't think I have struck the right balance in my life yet, and even that is making me feel guilty.
--MM
You're still getting used to some pretty major life changes! Go easy on yourself. You have at least one more month before anyone expects you to be Super Mom.
ReplyDeleteI think being guilty is a fact of life for Mom's. From the moment you concieve the first one, you worry, "was that too many cups of coffee--did I run too much, not enough? am I discipling enough, not enough, am I pushing education enough/not enough." Believe me, I know what you mean. It's a constant guilt fest around here (for me--once again this seems to be gender specific). If you don't work you feel like you're not contributing to the household, but if I even skip a few hours for a volunteer thing, I feel like someone else is watching my kids. Mom=guilt
ReplyDeleteG
p.s.
ReplyDeleteright now I am guilty hiding from four stinky boys!!! I couldn't escape the dog, but 4 out of five isn't bad!