Blind as a bat

Soon, I will be able to see much better than a bat. I can't wait.

I started wearing glasses when I was about three. I have pictures of myself as this happy little pre-schooler, and then my first picture with big, brown, plastic glasses shows me frowning. It was a sad day.

I always hated my glasses and anxiously counted the days until I could get contact lenses. I am near-sighted and have an astigmatism, so my best bet was rigid gas permeable lenses. These are literally small, hard pieces of plastic you stick in your eye.

I have struggled with these contacts for years. I have just gotten used to the wrenching pain when you get sand under your contact or the scratchy dryness that comes with allergy season. I often experience the sensation of a fiery needle dragging across my eyeball.

I started seriously considering Lasik surgery a couple years ago, when I finally made enough money for it to be a possibility. You can't be pregnant or nursing, so that forced me to wait another two years.

Now finally, clear vision without the assistance of plastic torture lenses is within reach!

I went in today to get my eyes measured and checked and to get fitted for soft contact lenses. Rigid gas permeable affect the shape of your eyes, so they have to go back to normal before they can be accurately corrected.

The eye doctor examined my eyes from an uncomfortably close distance with one of those mask-like things separating us. "Oh man," he said. "Your corneas are HORRIBLE." Uh thanks? "You must be one tough lady, because those are torn up. I can't believe you are not complaining all the time."

I actually DO complain about my eyes a lot, but had pretty much gotten used to it lately. He even called in the nurse to look at my horrific corneas. "Whoa!" she said. "Look at all those spots!"

I said, "You're kind of starting to scare me a little here." But, they assured me my corneas would go back to normal and would be prime for lasering. They did say if I didn't get the surgery I couldn't continue to wear those lenses because they would do permanent damage. I am sold on the surgery though. I'd do it tomorrow if I could.

They dilated my eyes, so I stumbled out with huge black circles looking like a stoned alien. I hate the feeling of having my eyes dilated. T picked me up and then drove me to work later.

I struggled with the soft lenses this afternoon. It is my first time using them, and they seem very large and floppy. They are also quite blurry compared to my other ones but much more comfortable. I will have to manage the next two months or so wearing contacts on air and glasses the rest of the time.

I had to have the camera operators move the teleprompter forward and forced myself not to squint. I am just trying to get by and dreaming of the moment I can see clearly with no lenses of any sort involved!

--MM