Well that's a slight exaggeration, but it is starting to feel kind of like that. I am feeling slightly more patient now that I don't feel like it is imminent. I know that my body is just odd and content to hang out in a state where most people are in the full throes of labor, so it could be awhile. A friend told me she knew someone who didn't know she was dilated seven centimeters, until her doctor told her. Wow! That would make for a quick labor.
Former President Bill Clinton was in town today, so it was another weekend spent working, but I'd rather be involved than sit at home and watch. Q came to work with us and wheeled around on his little bike. He has spent many hours in that newsroom!
--MM
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Excruciating anticipation
I am still pregnant, unfortunately. I am struggling to be patient, but am not succeeding. I decided to go to work yesterday to take my mind off things. The inside of my pelvis was killing me. After I would be sitting at my computer for awhile and then stand up, it felt like my legs were being ripped off.
As I was sitting down for the 5 show, I could feel this glugging sensation in that baby-delivering area. I ran to the bathroom and found that my mucus plug had come out, and I thought maybe some amniotic fluid. It is amazing all the crazy things that happen to your body. You just have no control. I wadded up toilet paper in my underwear and went back to the set, but then was in a panic that the rest of the water would gush out, or I would have a horribly painful contraction in front of thousands of people. I watched every minute tick by on the clock and was so happy to get off the set. That feeling of a lack of control is very frightening.
T and I decided to head home, but it is just not something you can do subtly in our place of work. I don't like all that drama!
A few hours later, nothing had changed, but we finally decided to just go to the hospital and see if my water had actually broken. I was hoping for a quick visit, but we were there for a couple hours as they monitored everything and took all my stats. During this time, Q wreaked havoc in the waiting room as T chased him around.
They found my contractions to be in a regular pattern, but not progressing. My water had not broken, so apparently that was some other sort of odd fluid. Then the nurse tried to check my cervix. For some reason she just couldn't do it. She said it was very posterior and spent several minutes just digging around in there. It was awful. At one point I asked to take a break, because she was killing me. She finally went someone else to probe around in there. T heard her in the waiting room, and she apparently was very confused and embarrassed. Sneaky hiding cervix.
A doctor came in and quickly determined I was still 4-5 cm and 80% effaced, which is pretty advanced, but shows there has been no change, so my contractions are still not actual labor contractions. She said I had the option to have my water broken, but it was not at all necessary. I have been attempting all along to have a very natural labor, but I was definitely faltering last night. It would have been nice to just get things going!
I finally decided to decline, and we headed home. It is quite discouraging really! I keep reminding myself that it has to happen eventually. I did decide not to go to work today. The going in and then coming home early was getting ridiculous. But, if I am still pregnant Monday, I think I will be back on my regular schedule. I have another doctor's appointment Tuesday, and by that point I might be saying, "Just get that baby out of there!"
--MM
As I was sitting down for the 5 show, I could feel this glugging sensation in that baby-delivering area. I ran to the bathroom and found that my mucus plug had come out, and I thought maybe some amniotic fluid. It is amazing all the crazy things that happen to your body. You just have no control. I wadded up toilet paper in my underwear and went back to the set, but then was in a panic that the rest of the water would gush out, or I would have a horribly painful contraction in front of thousands of people. I watched every minute tick by on the clock and was so happy to get off the set. That feeling of a lack of control is very frightening.
T and I decided to head home, but it is just not something you can do subtly in our place of work. I don't like all that drama!
A few hours later, nothing had changed, but we finally decided to just go to the hospital and see if my water had actually broken. I was hoping for a quick visit, but we were there for a couple hours as they monitored everything and took all my stats. During this time, Q wreaked havoc in the waiting room as T chased him around.
They found my contractions to be in a regular pattern, but not progressing. My water had not broken, so apparently that was some other sort of odd fluid. Then the nurse tried to check my cervix. For some reason she just couldn't do it. She said it was very posterior and spent several minutes just digging around in there. It was awful. At one point I asked to take a break, because she was killing me. She finally went someone else to probe around in there. T heard her in the waiting room, and she apparently was very confused and embarrassed. Sneaky hiding cervix.
A doctor came in and quickly determined I was still 4-5 cm and 80% effaced, which is pretty advanced, but shows there has been no change, so my contractions are still not actual labor contractions. She said I had the option to have my water broken, but it was not at all necessary. I have been attempting all along to have a very natural labor, but I was definitely faltering last night. It would have been nice to just get things going!
I finally decided to decline, and we headed home. It is quite discouraging really! I keep reminding myself that it has to happen eventually. I did decide not to go to work today. The going in and then coming home early was getting ridiculous. But, if I am still pregnant Monday, I think I will be back on my regular schedule. I have another doctor's appointment Tuesday, and by that point I might be saying, "Just get that baby out of there!"
--MM
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Temporary insanity
This is driving me batty. I am hanging out at home and nothing seems to be happening. It is the most mind-numbing thing to analyze every tiny sensation in your body.
Last night, we thought it was time and distributed Q and Ruby the dachshund to the homes of friends, but nothing ever really progressed. I barely slept last night, and I read and walked and bounced on my exercise ball. What is that fetus thinking? When will he come out? It is incredibly frustrating to not know and not have any control.
If I went to the hospital, they would admit me because I am so dilated. They would break my bag of waters and probably give me pitocin. But, it seems silly to rush things if he is clearly happy staying put.
Do I go to work? Should T? Frustrating!
--MM
Last night, we thought it was time and distributed Q and Ruby the dachshund to the homes of friends, but nothing ever really progressed. I barely slept last night, and I read and walked and bounced on my exercise ball. What is that fetus thinking? When will he come out? It is incredibly frustrating to not know and not have any control.
If I went to the hospital, they would admit me because I am so dilated. They would break my bag of waters and probably give me pitocin. But, it seems silly to rush things if he is clearly happy staying put.
Do I go to work? Should T? Frustrating!
--MM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
My nerves are wracked
I am pretty sure I will soon be going into active labor. But, I don't know for sure, and that is absolutely driving me crazy! My doctor is on vacation, so I saw another doctor today. She said I was 4 to 5 centimeters dilated. That is actually when most people begin full on labor. I am having pretty steady contractions, but they are not painful yet necessarily. She said if I wanted to I could actually go to the hospital and have my water broken to speed things along. That seems unnecessary to me. Might as well let nature take its course.
I sat at home on my exercise ball for awhile timing my contractions and debating whether it was stupid to come in to work. Since there is still the off chance I could be days or weeks away, I decided it is best to come in and not stay home and obsess. But now, I am feeling a lot of pressure and achiness in my pelvis, and the contractions are three minutes apart. At least work is taking my mind off things. We'll see what the little man has planned.
--MM
I sat at home on my exercise ball for awhile timing my contractions and debating whether it was stupid to come in to work. Since there is still the off chance I could be days or weeks away, I decided it is best to come in and not stay home and obsess. But now, I am feeling a lot of pressure and achiness in my pelvis, and the contractions are three minutes apart. At least work is taking my mind off things. We'll see what the little man has planned.
--MM
Monday, March 24, 2008
Ho Hum Easter
The Easter weekend had its ups and downs. Saturday started out with the visit from Barack Obama. It meant a very early morning, but it went extremely well. I was very happy with how smooth and organized our broadcast went. Those can either go great or horribly wrong. There never seems to be an in-between.
We were waiting quite awhile for his plane to take off, so we could show that and then wrap it all up. The clock was ticking toward our 1:00 p.m. scheduled Easter egg hunt. I was getting antsy! Come on Barack! This is sort of a big milestone! It finally took off at 12:45, T and I zipped home and made the egg hunt just a few minutes late.
We told Q to find the "balls," since that would catch his attention a bit better. The brightly-colored eggs were all hidden in plain sight for the 3 and under crowd. Q scooped up about five of his allotted 12 and then lost interest. He started climbing into other kids' wagons and trying on their sunglasses.
The rest of the weekend, I was pretty much a waste of space. We planned to go to brunch on Sunday, but I just felt so sluggish and grumpy, I barely wanted to get out of bed. Then I was mad at myself for not making myself get moving. I hate that cycle.
After sleeping away most of the day, I couldn't sleep at night. I lay wide awake in bed, analyzing every cramp and contraction. That can drive you insane. T snored away next to me while my mind raced, and I continually twisted and writhed in a futile attempt to find comfort. I got up to go to the bathroom about 47 times, only to have a tiny trickle come out. Those kind of nights always feel about 700 hours long.
I felt a little more lively today. Sluggish, lazy days like that don't recharge me. They just depress me. I had a little more spring in my step today and my grumpiness was gone. It hardly bothered me when Ruby ate half a plant, and T smashed a jar of ranch dressing on the kitchen floor.
--MM
We were waiting quite awhile for his plane to take off, so we could show that and then wrap it all up. The clock was ticking toward our 1:00 p.m. scheduled Easter egg hunt. I was getting antsy! Come on Barack! This is sort of a big milestone! It finally took off at 12:45, T and I zipped home and made the egg hunt just a few minutes late.
We told Q to find the "balls," since that would catch his attention a bit better. The brightly-colored eggs were all hidden in plain sight for the 3 and under crowd. Q scooped up about five of his allotted 12 and then lost interest. He started climbing into other kids' wagons and trying on their sunglasses.
The rest of the weekend, I was pretty much a waste of space. We planned to go to brunch on Sunday, but I just felt so sluggish and grumpy, I barely wanted to get out of bed. Then I was mad at myself for not making myself get moving. I hate that cycle.
After sleeping away most of the day, I couldn't sleep at night. I lay wide awake in bed, analyzing every cramp and contraction. That can drive you insane. T snored away next to me while my mind raced, and I continually twisted and writhed in a futile attempt to find comfort. I got up to go to the bathroom about 47 times, only to have a tiny trickle come out. Those kind of nights always feel about 700 hours long.
I felt a little more lively today. Sluggish, lazy days like that don't recharge me. They just depress me. I had a little more spring in my step today and my grumpiness was gone. It hardly bothered me when Ruby ate half a plant, and T smashed a jar of ranch dressing on the kitchen floor.
--MM
Friday, March 21, 2008
Preparing for Obama
Barack Obama is about to make a campaign stop in our area. This is pretty big news for us, because the candidates have mostly ignored our state. Our primary is so late, it usually doesn't matter in the nominating process. This time though, the race is tight, and our delegates are actually important.
The event sends a little electricity through our newsroom. Everyone will have their role to play this weekend, and you can see that it gets people enthusiastic about their jobs once again. It certainly wakes me up a little and gets my mind off wondering when I will into labor. It's a nice change!
--MM
The event sends a little electricity through our newsroom. Everyone will have their role to play this weekend, and you can see that it gets people enthusiastic about their jobs once again. It certainly wakes me up a little and gets my mind off wondering when I will into labor. It's a nice change!
--MM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A little patience
I am not by nature a patient person. I am just about the opposite of a procrastinator. If I have something to do, I am obsessed about it until I get it done. I'm sure I am the type of person who drives other people crazy. I know that is true for my husband half the time, but it is just how I tick.Right now the new baby's diapers are in place, his going home outfit is folded on his changing table, and all his tiny clothes are hung up in his closet. I have everything in place for a new baby in the house, except the new baby.
I have been expecting to give birth early for eight months, so now that I am nearing full-term, I am antsy. I know that fate will mock me by having the baby arrive two weeks late or something. I over-analyze every twinge, cramp, and contraction. Last time, I thought nothing of them, and all of the sudden, Q arrived. This time I feel every day go by in slow motion and look at my ginormous belly and wonder how long it will be there. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow, although those reveal few clues about when to expect delivery day. I wish she could just say, "You will go into labor next Tuesday at 10:43 p.m." That would make it much easier to plan.
All that said, I will force myself to be patient. I talked to a woman from my mom's group who is due this week. She is getting induced on Friday, not for any real reason, but just to have control I guess. I can completely understand the desire for power over what is happening to your body, but I think we should resist that urge and let nature take its course. I think the epidemic of women getting induced and scheduling c-sections is appalling. That makes birth so complicated. Why not just let nature take its course? That is what I will do, and I plan to resist all efforts to induce labor or speed it along unless absolutely necessary. I will wait as patiently as possible, though I do wish things would hurry up a bit in there.
--MM
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