Love and loss

We are back home now after a touching and emotional weekend. T and I went to the funeral of our little niece. We left the boys with my parents and caught a flight so we could be there with T's family members as they mourned. It was a very hard weekend, but I was so glad we could make it.

Around Christmas T's sister found out the news that her baby would have a hard road. She and her husband had heartbreaking decisions to make, but they found the strength and love to give their baby every chance. The baby stayed in my sister-in-law's belly for 41 weeks, floating in the perfect environment she provided, happily kicking and flipping. Finally the time had come for the baby to be born, and my sister- and brother-in-law hoped for just a moment however short with their little girl. It was not to be. The little girl died right at birth.

A photographer was there to take family pictures. The little girl was perfect and simply looked like she was sleeping. My sister-in-law planned a beautiful service for her daughter and chose a burial plot in her hometown so she could have frequent visitors.

It is a hard reality to accept that this poor sweet baby didn't get a chance to live. That this young married couple with so much love are forced to endure such loss. That so much of life is random and out of our control. I have been thinking about it constantly wondering how to reconcile the tragedy. How to make it better in any small way.

The priest who married my sister- and brother-in-law led the funeral mass. He shared a message that made the situation a little easier to absorb. He talked about how the little girl in her short time on earth had touched more lives than many other people do during their decades of existence. He described how she taught us the value of life and love. He commented on her strength and bravery, fighting till the very end and bringing such moments of joy to her parents.

I have been so impressed and inspired by the strength and love of T's sister and his entire family. My sister-in-law has suffered unbearable tragedy, but she handled it with such courage and class. She loved her little girl so deeply she wanted to do everything possible for the baby.

In life's saddest moments, you want more than anything to take away the pain from your loved ones. I hope that time eases the sharpness of the loss, though I know it will never entirely disappear. She will always be the daughter who slipped away. But hopefully they can find a sliver of comfort in the fact that their little girl lives on in the hearts of all who knew her.

T and I ordered a pink rose bush for his sister and her husband to plant so that they can be reminded of their daughter's sweetness and beauty. I wrote these words for them:

Meant to live in heaven, not on earth

She showed us what life is worth.

Blessed your lives for just a while

But never ceased to make you smile.

And though she’s gone far too soon

She’ll live on in all you do.

In love and laughter, in every day

She’ll be revealed in little ways.

So may this rose bloom and grow

Brienna’s spirit, for all to know.

--MM