Aimlessly wandering around

Some time last week, I lost my planner. Suddenly, my notes of directions, appointments, reminders, and tasks was gone. I looked everywhere and helpful acquaintances asked, "Where's the last place you left it?" Um, if I knew that....

Today I gave into the realization that my lovely 2007 Moleskin weekly planner was gone. I started to look for a 2007 date book but discovered these are not easy to find. 2008 planners as far as the eye can see featuring everything from dachshunds to outhouses, but not a single 2007 edition to be found. T finally located a blank one. I spent part of the afternoon filling in my dates and calling various places to figure out when I or Q have appointments.

I have felt so naked and disorganized with my planner. I love to write my tasks nice and neatly in there. It gives me some semblance of control. I feel much calmer now with my new book organized and ready to tell me where to go.

--MM

20/20

I just had my Lasik follow up appointment, and my vision is 20/20. Amazing. A week ago, I was blinder than a bat.

--MM

Conquering shrimp

Q started swimming lessons this week. It is one of those things that is so wonderful to do for him and very fun at times, but in the early morning it is not easy to pull on a swimsuit and go get in a cold pool. The nice thing is, this lesson ends in the nice warm therapy pool. Quite cozy. Today Q floated on a noodle, did a little kicking, and held his breath when the instructor dunked him under. He always looks vaguely stunned when that happens, but he seems to get it. He is a "shrimp" right now. The lowest of the low levels. He was in "shrimp" last year as well and apparently flunked. Some day we will make the elusive "kipper."

We ordered Q's Halloween costume this week. It will be most excellent. It could perhaps top last year's lobster.

I found out this week that a girl I work with doesn't know how to ride a bike. Isn't that absolute madness? I don't know how she got through childhood. We lived on our bikes in those days. She also just learned how to swim recently. I offered to take her to our "shrimp" class if she needs a review.

--MM

The second time around

T and I have known we were expecting another little one for about seven weeks but waited till the end of the first trimester to share the news. This time around feels very different for some reason. We were both thrilled to find out, though skeptical as usual. We got pregnant very quickly, and so I bought out the pregnancy tests just to be sure.

I was happy and fulfilled to know another baby was on the way but much calmer. Last time, I didn't know what to expect and was anxious and stressed, but this time I already have all the necessary paraphernalia. There are the expected financial concerns and worries about how we will juggle two babies, but I think it will become natural quickly enough.

One worry I have is that this baby will come early like Q did. I had my first prenatal appointment last week, and while the doctor said that is certainly a risk factor, I will most likely go full-term. I'm sure I will be nervous as the 34th week approaches, but I am optimistic this pregnancy will go better. If I never see the inside of NICU again, I will be a happy woman.

Another difference this time around is how quickly I am fattening up. I don't look pregnant per se. I just have a pot belly. I hate this stage. I am not in maternity clothes yet...just billowy shirts and elastic waistband skirts.

It is strange to look at my sticky little boy as he smears peanut butter in his hair and imagine him as someone's big brother. But, soon enough that will be true!

--MM

Soon-to-be mama of two

Coming April 13, 2008......

A new view

I am typing this without any contacts, glasses, or seeing implement of any kind. Hallelujah!

I went in for Lasik on Friday. They said to expect to be there for several hours. The doctors work at sites across the region and come in a few days a month and knock out 40 people. They were doing 22 that day. They called me in for another set of scans. I was just sure they were going to say, "Oh, I'm sorry. We were mistaken. You can't get this done!" I actually saw one woman turned away because her corneas were too thin. Why didn't they know that before?

I squared away the type of procedure I wanted and the financing. Then took a mild sedative and read my People magazine. The guy next to me was quite nervous. I said, "My eyes have been hurting for a decade, so I am just ready for this."

Then they finally called me in. I put on a blue hospital cap and little booties, and they numbed my eye with drops. They taped my eyelashes open and fit this odd thing onto my eye to keep it nice and wide. The doctor poked me directly in the eye a few times to make sure I couldn't feel anything (mercifully I couldn't), and then the procedure began. They peeled back a top layer and pressed down firmly on my eye. Everything went dark, and it really felt like my eye was closed, but it was wide open. Then all they told me to focus on the flashing red and green lights, and the laser went to work. It was very surreal. They counted down for a minute, and then it was finished. It is a cold laser, but I could smell a burning. A bit disconcerting to smell your eyeball burn. They carefully place the layer back over my corrected eye, untaped my eyelids and did the same thing on the other side. After the long wait, the whole procedure took five minutes.

I was sent home with sexy goggles to wear while sleeping and a multitude of eye drops to put in everyday. They told me to sleep as much as possible for the first day. When my eye-numbing drops wore off, my eyes burned. Quite a bit more than I expected really. They burn like you got a chemical in them, and you just want to give them a good rub, but you absolutely can not. By the evening, they felt much better.

The next morning, I could drive and watch TV and read. I went back in for my follow up, and I think my vision was about 20-25. It should improve over the next weeks though. My eyes are still pretty dry, and I will have to use artificial tears for awhile. Overall though, I am thrilled. I can't actually believe I am liberated from my glasses and contacts. I have relied on one or the other since pre-school. I just feel like I have my contacts in now. I keep my glasses on the dresser. I feel like this will wear off, and I will need them! It's a whole new outlook I have to get used to.

--MM

Ode to single mamas

I honestly don't know how single moms do it. T was gone for two days on a last-minute work trip. I was slightly annoyed, because I had to juggle some things around. The hardest thing though is being solely responsible for your child. It sure is nice to switch off dirty diapers and early wake-up calls. I just can't imagine doing it all on my own. I really do think about that a lot every time I get a small taste of parental independence. I don't like it. Even parents whose spouse goes off to war. It would just be incredibly hard.

I was driving around forever yesterday, taking Q to daycare then going to pick up our Community Supported Agriculture box and then into work. I find myself just hating every driver around me. This can not be healthy. I preach to my yoga class about breathing through stress and not letting those things get to you, but I fear I do not practice what I preach. Other drivers are annoying though. Why must they drive so slow? Why must they stop at yield signs?

I had a delightful manicure-pedicure appointment this morning. I look forward to that every few weeks. I get a coffee and cinnamon roll from the coffee shop next door and then indulge in a little pampering. This time, Q had to come along for the entire appointment. This made me extremely nervous. He did a wonderful job though sitting in his stroller and charming old ladies. He spent a lot of time marveling over one of those very real-looking stuffed cats.

Tomorrow is the day my eyes forever change! Being the cynic I am, I keep thinking they will say, "Oh, I'm sorry. You are actually not a candidate. Oops!" So, I am not going to flush my contacts until I am absolutely sure.

--MM