To be a mother

Here I am, a mother of two-year-old and four-year-old boys with one on the way. Maybe not another boy, but probably. :) I could never have pictured myself in this position, yet here I am. There were many times in high school and college when I was almost positive I didn't want children. But then I fell in love and got married, and it just seemed natural. It was exactly what I wanted.

I heard a question this week on some news show, "Knowing what you know now, would you still have children?" There are some days when I would probably respond with a resounding "NO!" But for the most part, my answer is a heartfelt yes. That is why I am here watching my belly expand, preparing to go down this road again.

The surprising thing to me about parenthood was how horribly frustrating and difficult it can be. You just expect it to be blissful. Tiring maybe, but so happy. And the truth is, a lot of times it isn't happy. A lot of times it is exhausting, maddening, grueling, thankless. But other times it fills you with pride and love and adoration and you feel so proud to be a mother and so thankful to experience this joy.

Those moments are fleeting and seem to come most often when your child is under 18 months or sleeping, but they are unbeatable. There is absolutely nothing like that feeling of love for your child.

Motherhood is complicated, stressful, painful, and hard. But it is also a gift. I am so happy to be someone's mother. Even if I don't seem like it everyday.

--MM