Awkward

It is hard to learn new things, and I'm pretty sure I don't like it.

I had an uncomfortable week. For the first three days, I was co-teaching a customer class for the first time. It was awkward and humbling. The other trainer has been teaching this class for years and knows the material backward and forward. I just learned it two months ago. I didn't have the answers to most of their questions and constantly had to ask her to step in. I am used to being confident and comfortable in what I do, and I was far from that.

I realized it has been a long time since I have done something completely new. I have been an aerobics instructor for 12 years, and I was a journalist for almost 10. I knew those jobs so well they were easy and automatic. But this is a whole new ball of wax. I am teaching computer software! Everything about that sentence should be wrong, yet here I am, hired and trained.

I felt pretty discouraged early in the week, but by the end I was slightly uplifted. I know I need to go back and study the material until it is automatic. I know it can only get better. But that doesn't make it easy.

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An update from the sour Skittle saga: my office mate returned from the break room on Thursday and said, "Didn't you get screwed out of some sour Skittles the other day?"

"Yes," I said bitterly.

"Here you go," he said tossing the bright green bag of sour joy onto my desk. "They were just laying on top of the vending machine."

Ahhhh. Someone has a good heart. Or maybe they just don't like sour Skittles. But that would be downright crazy.

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I am now 18 weeks pregnant and at that still fairly cute stage. My belly is round but not gigantic. I am feeling movement I think, but I am never sure until I feel a decisive kick. I had a doctor's appointment on Friday and heard that comforting gallop sound of the baby's heartbeat. I always am slightly nervous as the doctor is putting that Doppler onto my belly. What if there was nothing? Ugh. I don't even want to think about it, and yet I can help it.

-MM