Monday, March 22, 2010

Over my head

I'm used to being somewhat smart in most groups. I did well in high school. I was above average in college. Broadcast news doesn't exactly attract rocket scientists, so I could hold my own there. But now I am dealing with the uncomfortable feeling of being one of the dumb ones.

I now work for a software company. Who would have thought it? I am not entirely computer-illiterate but mostly so. My strengths are writing and speaking. The numbers and technology part of my brain is shriveled and practically bloodless.

So as I sit in class and the person next to me rolls their eyes at the simplicity of the lesson, I wrack my brain to understand this foreign language being spewed at me.

And I'm not even in the technical side of things. So far I have passed two exams (We have to take many weeks of classes, pass several exams, and submit a few projects). That makes me a feel a little better. I haven't taken exams in ages, and now the stakes are a lot higher than just getting an "A" in a class.

So lately I have sort of a constant anxious feeling. Wondering if I will be able to learn all this and get it all done quickly. Nervous that I made a bad decision accepting such a challenging job. Unsure of what's coming next.

--MM

1 comment:

  1. Yep, me too. It's been 17 years of being the only one in the room not able to keep up with my co-workers in the tech-mumbo-jumbo. I teach myself the high-level technology "just-enough" so I don't sound like am idiot, but many days it's all Greek to me. Much of my job is process-training to a bunch of consultants that would much rather be writing code than listening to me, but I've learned to make peace with it.

    You will too.

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