Relax already

I'm not very good at letting go. I tend to live up in my head, churning through thoughts, planning ahead, looking back, but rarely thinking about the exact moment I am in. I think how many minutes, hours, days, weeks, years until....something. I can eat a bag of chips and not realize it or take my vitamins and then forget if I just actually took them. It's not healthy.

I once read that rumination like this can keep you from being happy in your life. So I've been trying not to do it. Easier said than done if your brain has been operating in the same way since birth. Yoga is a great way to develop a more relaxed mindset. I didn't take easily to yoga when I first tried it. I would be thinking, When is this horrible plank going to be over? What am I going to do after class? Hasn't it been an hour yet? I still sometimes count down the seconds of particularly grueling poses, but I have gotten better at trying to climb down out of my head and actually be aware of my body.

My life is full right now. There is just no way around that. There is always something I need to accomplish or remember from the snack Q needs for school, to my next quiz in class, or a work meeting. If I don't rein it in, my mind just runs wild hopscotching from task to task and worry to worry. Lately I have consciously been trying to reel myself back and focus on one thing at a time. Work when I am at the office, family when the kids are awake, classwork after they go to bed. It doesn't always work but being conscious of it can't hurt.

I found myself yesterday with a vacation day to burn and a spa gift card I hadn't spent. I dedicated the day to a little relaxation and went to yoga, a facial, and lunch with T. It was lovely. Of course, I was stressed when I was running late to the facial and when I couldn't remember where I parked the car, but then I wouldn't be me if there wasn't a little anxiety in the mix.

I envy the people who can blissfully sink into relaxation. Even during a massage my mind is whirling, How many minutes do I have left? Why does my left calf hurt? Does she think my arms are fat?

I just can't turn it off. But at least I am developing the ability to dim it a little.

--MM

October Favorites

1. Short hair
You know those women who spend forever considering a change in hairstyle? Who think it about for months and research and ponder? I'm not one of those women. I was tired of my hair and had an appointment scheduled. I found a picture in a magazine, and said, "I want a change!" My husband doesn't love it, but I do, and it takes a heck of a lot less time to style.

2. The Packers

Packers season makes the descent into brutal Wisconsin winters a bit more bearable. Coming off the high of a Super Bowl win is a thrill and now the Packers are 8-0. I love it. I tend to fold laundry during Packers games and it makes matching up tiny socks a bit more enjoyable. Go Pack!




3. Gel Manicures

Taking a big turn here, I have found the best solution to chipping fingernail polish ever: gel/shellac/UVB manicures. These are amazing. I complimented someone at work on her manicure, and she informed me it was a gel manicure, which I had never heard of. I immediately researched who offered gel manicures in town and found a place. They paint on a particular type of gel polish and then bake it on under a UVB light. And it doesn't chip at all. That's just awesome. I have always envied fake nails because they look flawless and last a long time, but I never wanted to harm my natural nails. Enter the gel manicure. I'm in love.

My natural nails with a gel manicure after almost three weeks!

4. Door County

Door County is the "thumb" of Wisconsin. It is like a shabby, lesser-known, much cheaper Cape Cod of the Midwest. This is a big summer tourism destination with (very cold) beaches and cute little towns.

It's also gorgeous in the fall with breathtaking colors. I decided kind of last-minute to plan a weekend in Door County. I found a little cottage on the beach, and we drove up for two nights and a very full Saturday. We went for a bike ride and shopped and ate and walked on the beach. The boys had a great time and kept talking about their "little house." Even Ruby the Dachshund made the trip and enjoyed her first time playing in the waves. It was a much-needed and well-spent mini vacation.

In the lookout tower at Peninsula State Park.

--MM

Happy Halloween!

From this odd bunch: a cow, a UPS guy, and a cupcake.

--MM

I made it

I travel a little lighter to work these days. That's because I can keep my breast pump at home! I am very happy and proud to report that I made it to the one-year benchmark of breastfeeding and am now weaning little Lena.

This has been an important goal for me, as I knew it was the best thing for Lena, and because I did it for both boys and didn't want to shortchange her in any way. That said, it was quite challenging to keep it going for the entire year. I had a tight schedule and often had to pump in handicapped bathrooms during 45-minute lunch breaks. But I made it. And I feel pretty good about that.

Lena on her first birthday in her fancy pink party dress.

--MM

September Favorites

1. New Girl and Person of Interest

School is back in session, so that means I have little time to watch TV, but thanks to the most wonderful invention of DVR, I can squeeze in a little television watching here and there. I don't like sitcoms for the most part but I am enjoying New Girl. Also, Person of Interest had me intrigued since it is by the creator of Lost and stars one of Lost's actor. Person of Interest doesn't quite measure up to Lost, but it's still worth checking out.







2. A Word A Day
I am loving this website. You learn a new word every day through a daily email. The weekly words typically follow a theme and include a thought of the day. I have been suffering from a literary anosognosia, but not any more.

3. Rapture

I wore this perfume for years when I was in college and for awhile afterward. I got so used to it, that I couldn't even tell if I had put it on. I think it just absorbed into my blood. For a few years I tried some different perfumes, but recently returned to this old favorite. People always comment on how much they like the scent. It's the perfect blend of sweet and musky.

4. Golf
 

My first golf outing with my parents and T. I got about a 90. Unfortunately, we only played 9 holes.

I've taken up a few hobbies lately, one of which is golf. I have always wanted to learn but was not anxious to make an ass of myself on the golf course while others waited. In September, I finally took the plunge and signed up for golf lessons. I had no idea all the tiny details you have to keep in mind. Is your grip right? Are your eyes on the ball? Are you following through? I learned a lot in my lessons and last weekend, T and I ventured out for a real golf outing with my parents (who golf very often). My mom gave me an extra set of golf clubs she had that happen to have Michigan St. stamped all over them. (We have no connection whatsoever to Michigan St., but a friend of theirs got a good deal on them). My golfing was pretty horrible. My best hole was seven strokes. On my worst, I stopped counting around 15. It was fun though, and I want to get better. T and I are going to a par 3 tomorrow. Watch for me on the LPGA sometime soon.
--MM

Late bloomers

You know those moms who brag about how their kids were potty-trained at 18 months, walking at 10 months, and reading at the age of 2? I am not one of those moms. Mostly because I don't have those kind of kids. My kids don't tend to do things early. They don't even tend to do them on time.

Q was born six weeks late, so he has a bit of a pass, but he didn't crawl till he was about 14 months and finally started to walk when he was 19 months.

R was full term, so he doesn't have any excuses. He walked at 15 months.

I thought Lena might be the exception, but here she is, almost one, and not even crawling. She is however scooting to her chosen destinations on her bottom. Who needs crawling when you can do an awkward bum scooch to get where you need to go? I assume she will walk when she's good and ready, sometime between now and her second birthday.

 One thing my kids do seem to take to at an early age is talking. Lena already says a couple words like "doggie" and "uh-oh." R regularly makes up detailed songs in the car, and Q never seems to stop talking. This all results in a kind of constant din everywhere we go.

I am holding out hope that Lena will be an early potty trainer. The other two sure weren't.

So it must be something we are doing. Maybe they get procrastinating from us? Maybe we don't push them enough or maybe we are pushovers ourselves? Maybe we are just modern parents letting them grown at their own pace?

Whatever it is, my late bloomers seem just right to me, and I'd rather stay out of those overachiever mommy discussions anyway.

--MM

Eight years

T and I have been married eight years. We sealed the deal on August 23, 2003, at what now seems like the very young ages of 24 and 25. Much has happened since then: three states, three kids, three pets, several jobs, a few houses, some ups and a few downs. Our lives are so utterly interwoven now, I don't think either of us can completely remember what life was like before we met in 2001.

We're lucky to have each other. To whom would I send i-phone pictures of my cat? Who else would laugh at my badly-told jokes and silly dances? I'm lucky to have him, but I make sure is frequently reminded that he is lucky to have me.

You get a mountain of advice around the time of your wedding, to much of which we nodded politely. We did get some good words of wisdom that we have lived by. My hairstylist told me to always value and celebrate your anniversary and to do something to mark its importance. She and her husband switched off years of planning something to do. T and I took that approach right from the start, and now I plan all even years and he takes the odds.

Pre-children, we enjoyed romantic weekends away. Some day I want to plan trips to Hawaii or Bora Bora. This year was my time to plan, and with Bora Bora off the table, I looked for something a little closer to home, but still fun. I like to plan it as a surprise to make it a little more memorable. We went to lunch in downtown Milwaukee, out for coffee by Lake Michigan, and then to great seats at the Brewers game. Perhaps not your average eighth-anniversary tradition, but just what we needed to take a breather from the chaos of workschoolkidshomepetsyardworkbills and remember how good we have it.

 

--MM