Hurting

I am in such pain.

The pain that I felt in my hips, pelvis, and lower back through my last two pregnancies has reared its ugly head again, only this time it is sooner and worse than before.

My back had been feeling pretty good lately after a few months of physical therapy at the end of last year. But this week, I could feel my hips starting to get crooked again. Before long my tailbone was throbbing, fingers of nerve pain were shooting down my thighs, and just rolling over in bed was agony.

I called the doctor and asked to get in ASAP. My pain relief options are limited of course, being 22 weeks pregnant, but she did give me a stronger Tylenol/Codeine prescription. She referred me to PT and told me to get a therapeutic massage. I had high hopes for PT since it helped me a lot before. But when I called to set up my appointment, they couldn't get me in for three weeks. Yesterday I was crying at my desk thinking, I can barely walk. How am I going to make it four more months?

Today I managed to get a chiropractor appointment, and he said my hips were crooked by a half inch. He adjusted and that helped slightly, but I have no doubt things have already slid out of place. My ligaments are so loose and stretched that by body is just not staying in place.

It truly is miserable. I am in constant pain. Some positions just hurt more than others. Sometimes a muscle spasm will make me gasp. I struggle to shave my legs or pick up something off the floor. T is going out of town for four days next week, and I have no idea how I am going to pick up my kids.

I am trying to tell myself this will be a character builder. At least there is an end to the pain in sight. Some people are in pain their whole lives. At least the pain is for a good reason. Still I read online about how women who suffer from this sacroiliac and symphysis pubis dysfunction often become depressed because they are in such agony and can't do much to ease the pain. I can completely understand that. I feel very defeated.

So, I am in a rough patch. I'm trying to make the best of it, but it is discouraging. Sometimes I wish the bad didn't have to come with the good.

--MM