Good kids

I'd love for my kids to grow up to be rich, successful doctors. I'd be thrilled if they made it into the best colleges and earned big paychecks and were the smartest people around. But that's probably not going to happen (at least not entirely), and I don't have much control over it either. But one thing I do have at least a say in is how they learn to treat other people.

Though I grew up in a very homogeneous town, I grew up to be open-minded and accepting. My parents did it subtly, but I always understood that everyone deserved to be treated with equal respect regardless of any perceived differences.

I am determined that my children will grow up with the same guidance. I want my boys to be respectful of women and Lena to believe she can be anything she wants to be. I also want them to understand that they have a lot of advantages and not everyone has all the things they have. I want them to see giving generously as just a part of life. I want them to feel a passion for social justice and an obligation to pull up others who have fallen down.

This is a tall order of course considering they are just one, three, and five, but it's never too early right? And I feel that I also need to make helping people around me a structured part of life. Too often you give of yourself only when it is convenient. So T and I have decided to volunteer or donate or do something every month to remind us that we are part of a larger community, and we are all in this together.

We started in September. That first month, we printed out a list from the Humane Society, went shopping at the pet supply store, and dropped off our donations. We also took a little tour and resisted bringing home any new pets.

In October, I had an already-scheduled charity event for a women's fund, so I wrote an extra check. In November, we signed up to be bell ringers.

We really guilted some people into giving with this line-up. We tried to explain exactly what we were doing and why. I think Q started to get it, though R was more interested in helping to shove money into the kettle, and Lena just liked shaking the bell.

In December, T took the boys to Toy R Us to pick out gifts for Toys for Tots. That was a big test of course, as the boys get manic when they enter a toy store. They did a good job selecting their toys and did  eventually hand them over.

Especially this time of year when the kids become greedy little devils demanding everything they see advertised in colorful newspaper inserts or on television commercials, I want to make sure they are learning what we really value. If they grow up to be caring, generous adults, I will know I was a good mother.

--MM

November Favorites

1. Instagram

I was due for a phone upgrade in November and got my hands on then new iPhone 4S. Among the fun little treats with which I have been entertaining myself: Instagram. This app lets you take pictures and then easily apply filters to make yourself look like a master photographer. Witness the documentation of my Christmas card construction:

Watch out. It's addicting!

2. Dermalogica products



I picked up som Dermalogica products when I got a facial last month and have fallen in love. I got this multi-active toner and also a hydration serum and eye cream. I especially like the serum, because your skin just drinks it in and is moisturized without being greasy.

3. Klutz.com 

For Christmas and birthday this fall, I am going for online shopping and homemade gifts. Klutz.com has the best, most clever gifts for kids. I have snapped up a couple things for my nephews. Uncommongoods.com also is a great option for unique, useful gifts.






4. PIE!

I stopped eating meat in 2004 (and started eating fish again in 2009), so Thanksgiving isn't about the turkey for me...it's all about the PIE. I think I could subsist on pie alone. Cherry pie, pecan pie, apple pie, peach pie, and pumpkin pie. The last few years I have made two pumpkin pies (from scratch of course. That's the only way to do it.) and eaten probably 1.5 pies by myself. This year my pesky children were into pie as well (perhaps there is a pie-loving gene?), and I didn't get my fair share. Even Lena was going to town on the pie. I managed to devour about eight pieces but felt still deprived. Next year I might have to increase my pie production. And I will state for the record that I firmly believe pumpkin pie makes a perfectly acceptable breakfast. It has vitamin A in it doesn't it?

--MM

Relax already

I'm not very good at letting go. I tend to live up in my head, churning through thoughts, planning ahead, looking back, but rarely thinking about the exact moment I am in. I think how many minutes, hours, days, weeks, years until....something. I can eat a bag of chips and not realize it or take my vitamins and then forget if I just actually took them. It's not healthy.

I once read that rumination like this can keep you from being happy in your life. So I've been trying not to do it. Easier said than done if your brain has been operating in the same way since birth. Yoga is a great way to develop a more relaxed mindset. I didn't take easily to yoga when I first tried it. I would be thinking, When is this horrible plank going to be over? What am I going to do after class? Hasn't it been an hour yet? I still sometimes count down the seconds of particularly grueling poses, but I have gotten better at trying to climb down out of my head and actually be aware of my body.

My life is full right now. There is just no way around that. There is always something I need to accomplish or remember from the snack Q needs for school, to my next quiz in class, or a work meeting. If I don't rein it in, my mind just runs wild hopscotching from task to task and worry to worry. Lately I have consciously been trying to reel myself back and focus on one thing at a time. Work when I am at the office, family when the kids are awake, classwork after they go to bed. It doesn't always work but being conscious of it can't hurt.

I found myself yesterday with a vacation day to burn and a spa gift card I hadn't spent. I dedicated the day to a little relaxation and went to yoga, a facial, and lunch with T. It was lovely. Of course, I was stressed when I was running late to the facial and when I couldn't remember where I parked the car, but then I wouldn't be me if there wasn't a little anxiety in the mix.

I envy the people who can blissfully sink into relaxation. Even during a massage my mind is whirling, How many minutes do I have left? Why does my left calf hurt? Does she think my arms are fat?

I just can't turn it off. But at least I am developing the ability to dim it a little.

--MM

October Favorites

1. Short hair
You know those women who spend forever considering a change in hairstyle? Who think it about for months and research and ponder? I'm not one of those women. I was tired of my hair and had an appointment scheduled. I found a picture in a magazine, and said, "I want a change!" My husband doesn't love it, but I do, and it takes a heck of a lot less time to style.

2. The Packers

Packers season makes the descent into brutal Wisconsin winters a bit more bearable. Coming off the high of a Super Bowl win is a thrill and now the Packers are 8-0. I love it. I tend to fold laundry during Packers games and it makes matching up tiny socks a bit more enjoyable. Go Pack!




3. Gel Manicures

Taking a big turn here, I have found the best solution to chipping fingernail polish ever: gel/shellac/UVB manicures. These are amazing. I complimented someone at work on her manicure, and she informed me it was a gel manicure, which I had never heard of. I immediately researched who offered gel manicures in town and found a place. They paint on a particular type of gel polish and then bake it on under a UVB light. And it doesn't chip at all. That's just awesome. I have always envied fake nails because they look flawless and last a long time, but I never wanted to harm my natural nails. Enter the gel manicure. I'm in love.

My natural nails with a gel manicure after almost three weeks!

4. Door County

Door County is the "thumb" of Wisconsin. It is like a shabby, lesser-known, much cheaper Cape Cod of the Midwest. This is a big summer tourism destination with (very cold) beaches and cute little towns.

It's also gorgeous in the fall with breathtaking colors. I decided kind of last-minute to plan a weekend in Door County. I found a little cottage on the beach, and we drove up for two nights and a very full Saturday. We went for a bike ride and shopped and ate and walked on the beach. The boys had a great time and kept talking about their "little house." Even Ruby the Dachshund made the trip and enjoyed her first time playing in the waves. It was a much-needed and well-spent mini vacation.

In the lookout tower at Peninsula State Park.

--MM

Happy Halloween!

From this odd bunch: a cow, a UPS guy, and a cupcake.

--MM

I made it

I travel a little lighter to work these days. That's because I can keep my breast pump at home! I am very happy and proud to report that I made it to the one-year benchmark of breastfeeding and am now weaning little Lena.

This has been an important goal for me, as I knew it was the best thing for Lena, and because I did it for both boys and didn't want to shortchange her in any way. That said, it was quite challenging to keep it going for the entire year. I had a tight schedule and often had to pump in handicapped bathrooms during 45-minute lunch breaks. But I made it. And I feel pretty good about that.

Lena on her first birthday in her fancy pink party dress.

--MM

September Favorites

1. New Girl and Person of Interest

School is back in session, so that means I have little time to watch TV, but thanks to the most wonderful invention of DVR, I can squeeze in a little television watching here and there. I don't like sitcoms for the most part but I am enjoying New Girl. Also, Person of Interest had me intrigued since it is by the creator of Lost and stars one of Lost's actor. Person of Interest doesn't quite measure up to Lost, but it's still worth checking out.







2. A Word A Day
I am loving this website. You learn a new word every day through a daily email. The weekly words typically follow a theme and include a thought of the day. I have been suffering from a literary anosognosia, but not any more.

3. Rapture

I wore this perfume for years when I was in college and for awhile afterward. I got so used to it, that I couldn't even tell if I had put it on. I think it just absorbed into my blood. For a few years I tried some different perfumes, but recently returned to this old favorite. People always comment on how much they like the scent. It's the perfect blend of sweet and musky.

4. Golf
 

My first golf outing with my parents and T. I got about a 90. Unfortunately, we only played 9 holes.

I've taken up a few hobbies lately, one of which is golf. I have always wanted to learn but was not anxious to make an ass of myself on the golf course while others waited. In September, I finally took the plunge and signed up for golf lessons. I had no idea all the tiny details you have to keep in mind. Is your grip right? Are your eyes on the ball? Are you following through? I learned a lot in my lessons and last weekend, T and I ventured out for a real golf outing with my parents (who golf very often). My mom gave me an extra set of golf clubs she had that happen to have Michigan St. stamped all over them. (We have no connection whatsoever to Michigan St., but a friend of theirs got a good deal on them). My golfing was pretty horrible. My best hole was seven strokes. On my worst, I stopped counting around 15. It was fun though, and I want to get better. T and I are going to a par 3 tomorrow. Watch for me on the LPGA sometime soon.
--MM