Medical malfunction

Every time I deal with the health care system, I come away frustrated and convinced that the medical establishment is a mess.

This morning at 7:00 a.m., I had an appointment for a follow-up blood test to make sure my hormone levels had dropped back to normal following my miscarriage last month. It should have been a super-quick stop. In fact, T just circled the block in the car with the boys while I ran in.

I stopped at the front desk to ask where the lab was, since I had forgotten since my visit four months ago. The information person assured me I had to go across the street and commented she was not even sure if the small lab in that part of the hospital even existed. I assured her that it had been in existence just a month ago. She sent me on to patient registration, where I sat impatiently while the workers chatted amongst themselves.

When I was finally summoned, the woman seemed very confused about why I was there and surprised even when my appointment did in fact show up in the computer. She also asked me if I should be going across the street. "I am pretty sure I am supposed to just go to the same lab I did last time," I said. She typed away, copied my insurance card again, printed out paperwork including some sort of plastic card and finally sent me on to the lab.

Once again the lab workers were confused about who I was and why I was there. Did I mention I did have an appointment? They shuffled through my papers, looked at my chart on the computer, and called someone. They said I needed to go up two floors to get a lab order from the OB clinic. Grr.

I walked up two floors, waited while the receptionist printed out a small sticker, and then went back down to the lab. Finally, finally, the drew my blood and that took about 30 seconds. Then it was back down four floors to call T who had been waiting for half an hour. So frustrating. I seriously considered just leaving since it was a minor test, and I am reasonably sure things are back to normal.

Isn't there an easier way? Imagine what goes on during complicated procedures. Scary thought.

--MM

Good times, old friends

There are definitely things I hate about being back in Wisconsin. For instance, it is snowing steadily now, the roads are mush, and it's not supposed to stop till tomorrow night. Also, I am cold. I feel like I have been cold since November. The lower level of our house is often 58 degrees when we wake up. We had to buy a portable heater to make it livable. Spring can not come soon enough.

But there are things I love about being back, and that more than makes up for the miserable, snowy, icy, windy winter. (Someday, someday, I am going to live somewhere tropical and be hot and sweaty everyday.) It is so great being close to my parents again. They are an hour away--just right. Granted I was the person who absolutely refused to go to college in-state and thought 500 miles away was still too close. And I eventually got a job almost 2,000 miles away. But after 12 years, I have to admit it is good to be back.

I love the boys seeing their grandparents and cousins often. I love popping over for New Year's Day dinner or to celebrate my dad's birthday. The passage of time makes you value these things so much more.

The other thing I treasure is old friends. There are many people to whom I was joined at the hip in high school whom I haven't seen since then. Now I see several of them often. And it is just great. Five of us got together for dinner on Saturday. We were all on cross country and track together and now are at various stages of life. But from the first moment I see them, I feel entirely comfortable. There is just something about old friends. They know your history. New friends you are almost a little on edge, trying to prove that you are good friend material. Trying to win them over. Old friends know you and love you. They know what you looked like when you were 13. They are priceless.

This Saturday, despite a two-hour wait for dinner, we talked and laughed over glasses of wine, dinner, and french fries for dessert. We planned to do it often, maybe even monthly. It was easy and relaxing and just fun.

It's good to be home.

--MM

Chaos returns

The boys are back. I miss my solitude.

Last night the two little ones alternated waking up screaming and at various times we had one or both in our bed flailing around and competing for space with two tall adults and one disgruntled cat (I think the cat enjoyed the solitude too).

In truth, I am glad to have the chaos back. I treasure quiet moments, but I would be lonely alone. That is why we have accumulated three pets and two children in ten years and plan to add more. I stress under pandemonium, but I also revel in it. I don't like things to be too calm. If they are, I tend to create stress. That's how I went from being a bored stay-at-home mom to one racing around town to teach 15 exercise classes.

Speaking of that, I am still anxiously awaiting news on the job front. I'm sure I will hear sometime in the next week. I am applying for other jobs as well, so I won't feel devastated if I don't get it. I hate waiting.

--MM

Sweet solitude

I am all alone today.

T is on a business trip, and since I teach super early and a few late classes, my mom took the boys for a day and a half. So, it's just me.

Last night I didn't have to make dinner for anyone so I grazed on cookies, veggies and dip, cheese, chips, and chocolate chips (in that order). No one was there to harass me about watching The Bachelor. No kids woke up screaming at 3:00 a.m. to disturb my slumber as I stretched out diagonal on the bed.

This morning I turned on all the lights and the TV as I got ready to go to class. I didn't have to rush the kids along to get ready and leave ten minutes early for the Y. Now there is no one to drop off, no diaper to change, no Dora to watch. I had a quiet lunch (healthy to make up for last night's excess) while watching The View on DVR. I walked the dog and then put on some music to enjoy while I sip tea and work on the computer.

It's true, I am enjoying it. Life has been a bit hectic lately, so I will take any downtime I can get. But it is lonely. Last night when I unlocked the door it was strange to walk into a silent house with no one to greet me. Thankfully I have a needy dog to nurture and two cats to keep me company.

Solitude is nice but only if it is temporary. The chaos returns tomorrow.

--MM

Serendipity

Sometimes the parts of life that make you smile widest are those happy accidents or so-called instances of serendipity.

About two weeks ago, I put my mind to memorizing one of my favorite poems, How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It was one of the readings at our wedding and is a beautiful classic. I just randomly thought it would be cool to know it by heart. Why not?

So, I looked at a few lines a night until I had it committed to memory. I recited it to T and didn't think much more of it.

Now for the cool coincidence: Last Friday I had my day-long interview for a job I really want. As a quick aside, I had a bad cold and hoped my voice would hold out. It was another intense interview for this company, talking to about ten people, giving a presentation, and then taking an extended writing assessment. Here's the crazy part: the first question of my writing test? What are a few lines of your favorite poem?

I laughed out loud and then happily clicked away, typing out the entire poem. Just a few weeks ago, I would have racked my brain and maybe managed "I took the road less traveled by..." or something else extremely minimal.

I have had my share of bad luck lately, so I happily welcomed a little serendipity.

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

--MM

Manic Sunday

You remember that Bangles song? Just another Manic Monday/Wish it was Sunday/That's my fun day/My I don't have to run day.

Truly elegant prose obviously, but I totally disagree. My Sundays are frantic. This is mostly my own doing of course. I could spread the workload to Saturday and throughout the week. But I don't, so Sundays are manic. I invariably have a long list of tasks and spend my day of rest rushing around trying to cross off all of them.

My Sundays consist of multiple loads of laundry washed, folded, hung up, and put away, meals for the week planned and grocery list compiled, vacuuming, dusting, up to four exercise classes planned for the next day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner made, church attended (if I'm feeling especially ambitious), clothes for myself and the boys laid out, workout bag, preschool bag, and diaper bag, packed and put out, running, and trying to get to bed early for my 4:45 a.m. wake up call.

It's stressful and often the tasks spill over into the week. Laundry sometimes stays piled up in laundry baskets until I get to it Monday or Tuesday. The result is I feel like I am constantly sorting, washing, folding. Not my favorite thing.

Today in typical Sunday fashion, I have a long list to accomplish (increased by the fact that T is going out of town tomorrow and my mom is coming to watch the boys and doubtlessly expecting a clean house). The day started off horrible with Q pooping his pants and being generally exasperating. But I was determined to set it back on course and dutifully cross off my list without stressing out entirely.

So far so good. At 2:25 p.m., my last load of laundry is about to go in the dryer, the meals are planned, grocery list compiled, and four classes are planned for tomorrow.

It feels good to have things under control. Until next Sunday.

--MM

Where have I been?

Bits and pieces today:

• Ran indoor half marathon. Had seriously not trained so I was very happy to finish in 1:58:49. My legs are still aching.
• Q loves preschool, and I just burst with pride to see him in there. We just got him a new lunch box, and he is so proud to use it. They studied Martin Luther King, Jr., and had to make "I have a dream..." posters. Q's was, "I make cookies with my mama." Melt.
• I have a third interview this Friday for a job I really want. It is an all-day thing, and I have to give a presentation. Stressful. I am hopeful but not printing my business cards just yet.
• Am so, so, so tired all the time. All I can think about is my next nap. I get up before 5 a.m. every day. Not fun. If I get a full-time job, I will be much more rested.
• I love Martha Stewart's new cleaning products. They are so great. So far I have the dish/hand soap and the multi-purpose cleaner, but I may expand. Good stuff.
• It is so cold. I love being back in Wisconsin except for that. Spring can't come soon enough.

--MM